Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
