why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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