I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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