Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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