she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
