Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
