If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
