May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
