do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize