Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
