They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
