Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
