Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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