the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
