Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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