I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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