So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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