Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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