i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
