dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
