I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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