i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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