We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
