Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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