The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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