So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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