there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
