i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
