did you get engaged???
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
