Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am puke
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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