An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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