Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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