We're facebook friends in real life
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
