I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
