Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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