It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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