Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
