If i come over, it means nothing
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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