I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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