It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
