i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
