Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize