what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
