Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
