Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
