After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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