my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
