Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
