Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
