So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
