Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
