The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
