i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
