i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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