You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
