I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
