she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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