Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
