so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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