the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
