so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
